About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
