Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Pants are for mortals
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
