you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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