I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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