is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
