all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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