Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize