That's when you crack a 10am beer
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
