he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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