Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
