like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
The air taste purple.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
