i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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