I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
