I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
