My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
