Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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