Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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