honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
