My first STD was from a foam party
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
