hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
We named our party play list daddy issues
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
This is my gift to your gina
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
