Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
