I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
