Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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