I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
