it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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