Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
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