New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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