How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
