spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
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