Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
