needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
