You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i may or may not be watching the land before time
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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