And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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