Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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