I love black thongs
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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