I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
What a dumb baby whore.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
It's shark week go big or go home
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
