i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
