If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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