I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
