Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize