My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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