I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
