Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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