Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
