The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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