She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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