Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize