So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
