i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
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Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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