Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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