And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
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My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
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Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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