Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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