But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
