I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you will always have a special place in my vag
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
