i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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