yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I touched a dick in church today
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
