You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I see more hoeing in ur future
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
