in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
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I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
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I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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