you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
