Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
no you cant smoke seaweed
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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